Kiss
Puke
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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