Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
