I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
