dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
