I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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