So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize