You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She said her name was "party"
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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