i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
