my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
