I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So vagazzling was a success
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
