everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
