...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
