So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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