all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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