Whod you bang
i just google imaged poop.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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