i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
