I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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