Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize