hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
