she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
