Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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