16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
