so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
