its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
