The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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