My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize