So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i think my cat just said my name.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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