When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
