In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
