Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize