We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
