This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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