I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
