I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i was born a porn star she said
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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