My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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