We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
