We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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