I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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