im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
