I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
