idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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