Having a random hookup so left but love u
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
