plz talk dirty to me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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