you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
