Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
