Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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