i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
