I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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