i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
