it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
