Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize