I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize