I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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