I can text with my tongue
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
