All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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