i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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