Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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