sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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