Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
