Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
