all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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