Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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