This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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