we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
