i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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