Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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