Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
