A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize