I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
