They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
